Dog Pregnancy Calculator And Timeline
Life is cool. Laugh your heart out with these rib-tickling funny and hilarious dog jokes.
There is a solid reason why dog’s are man’s best buddy. They are not only playful, loving, and loyal, but their unique sense of humor can bring the roof down in a jiffy.
No matter what dog breed you own, certain traits about our loyal friends never change.
These simple yet amazing dog jokes kindle that cheerful joy in the best possible way. Don’t worry if you don’t own a dog, these dog jokes are a masterclass.
Woof! Woof! Rrrrrr…all the way!
Dog Jokes For All Ages
- What dog does a Dracula love?
A Bloodhound
- Name one similarity between a mobile and a dog
Both have special collar ID
- What’s a canine’s most loved ice cream?
Pupcicles
- How did you say dogs are excellent dramatists?
She knew when to paws for effect
- This dog breed loves bubble baths. Name the breed.
A shampoodle
- Some puppies never bark. Why?
They’re hush puppies
- What do you name a dog magician?
A labracadabrador
- What musical instrument does a dog can’t resist?
A trombone
- Why people reject the idea of working for dogs?
They are known to hound their employees
- Where do the dogs usually park their vehicle?
In their barking lot.
- What does a pet dog pray before eating?
Bone appetite
- What word did the dog shout to the tree?
- What do you call dogs who own a surround stereo system?
A sub-woofer
- Name a city that all dogs love
New Yorkie
- What dog maintains time?
A watchdog
- What’s a dog’s most preferred type of pizza?
Pupperoni
- When a dog finishes training classes, she gets….
Her pet-degree
- What should you do if a dog gobbles an Oxford dictionary?
Pluck the words out of her mouth!
- What’s the most famous dog not found in a zoo?
A ‘Sheed-zoo’
- How dogs react when they see ghosts?
They are Terrier-fied!
- A dog with a calculator is…..
A loyal friend you can simply count on
- A meditating wolf dog is called
Aware wolf
- What is the similarity between a marine biologist and a dog?
The marine biologist tags a whale and a dog wags a tail
- What do you call a golden dog crossed with a phone?
A golden receiver
- Who delivers a dog’s X-mas gifts?
Santa Paws
- Name the dog that comes from Asgard
A labrathor
- Why do dogs love running in circles?
It’s not easy to run in squares
- How do you actually call a dog with no ears?
Ahahaa….., it does not matter as they can’t hear you
- Dogs are not good at dancing. Well, why?
They cannot bark and dance at the same time
- What do you get if you cross a panther and a dog?
You better ask the person who owns such a dog
- A detective dog is called?
Sherlock Bones
- This dog breed cannot hide his happiness. Name the breed.
A Chi-ha-ha-ha
- What should you do if your dog munches your pencil?
Grab a pen instead!
- What do you name a dog that gobbles a tennis ball?
A Ballshit!
- What do you do if you find a sleeping pit bull?
Make no noise else rest is history
- Who’s the most intelligent dog in the world?
The one who brings in the daily newspaper which we have never subscribed!
- What has 12,000 legs and 6,000 eyes?
Three thousand dogs
- Whom should you call when you find a 350 lbs dog sitting on your bed?
First, leave the room and just sleep on the couch
- What do you actually do when you see a dog affected with rabies?
That mostly depends on whether he has seen you or not
- Why blind people avoid parachuting?
Their guide dogs are afraid to fly
- Why do dogs happily chase behind cars they wish not to drive?
Hey… Why do guys chase girls they don’t wanna marry?
- Why did your dog lick his butt?
Because there’s no one who can do it for your dog
- What do you learn when you cross a Saint Bernard and a Pitbull?
A pet dog that first bites you and then finds help to save you
- Who is simple to handle? A woman shouting outside or a dog barking outside?
The dog will keep quiet once you open the door.
- A dog owner to the vet- “I wish to operate on my dog and remove his tail.” The vet appeared confused and asked, “why?”
My mother-in-law is scheduled to visit us next week. When she is here, she should never get any hope that she is heartily welcome.
- A boy to his friends, “ I wish to name my dog genius.” Why?
When my friend’s ask me what you are doing I will say, “ I’m walking genius.”
- What does a canine call his father?
My Paw
- The art loved by all dogs
Nose printing
- Why did the police arrest the dog who went to the circus?
He stole the show
- What dogs human love?
A hot dog!
Golden Retriever Jokes
- What is a Golden retriever doing at a dress party?
He is acting like a Golden deceiver
- What dog breeds Israelis’ love the most?
A Golden Retriever
- A Golden Retriever will retrieve anything but not this…..
Gold
- Golden Retriever Property Laws-
If I saw that thing before you, it’s mine
If I love it, it’s mine
And, If it smells good, it’s mine
If I borrow it from you, it’s mine
Hey, If it’s shabby and dirty, it’s yours
Doberman Jokes
- A thief breaks in and moves towards the valuables.
Then he stops to hear a voice say, “God, can you see that?”
He remains like a statue and after some time locates the source from which the voice is coming.
He sees a parrot and asks it, “Did you talk to me?”
“Hmmmm! So what? You are a bird!” remarks the burglar.
The parrot replies, ”But God is a freakin’ Doberman!”
- What looks nice on a lawyer and appears brown and black?
A Doberman
- A Doberman, a cat, and a German Shepherd meet God face-to-face.
The German Shepherd remarks, “I believe in obedience training and devotion to my master.”
“Cool,” says God, “Take the seat on my right.”
“Doberman, what’s your belief?” asks the Almighty. He says, ”I believe in protection, affection, care of my owner.”
“Great,” said God, “Take the seat on my left.”
Finally, he asks the same question to the cat.
The cat replies, “I believe you are sitting in my seat.”
And that’s how cats’ became Gods says an unknown legend from an unknown place.
- What do you call a bear- Doberman hybrid?
It does not matter as long as you are far away from the dog.
Great Dane Jokes
- What do you call a dog like Great Dane wearing a snorkel?
Scuba-doo!
- A woman meets her vet and complains that her Great Dane keeps running, and jumping on her…
Vet- Well, so want him neutered?
Woman: No, you better declaw him.
- A man and his dog visit his vet for a health check-up…
“Mr., your pet has eye problems. It is time to put him down.”
The owner becomes furious, “You want to put him down for eye issues?”
The vet said, “ OMG! Not like that, he’s super heavy.”
Weimaraner Jokes
- What did the Weimaraner say when he sat on sandpaper?
It’s pretty ruff
- Why’s a Weimaraner dog is afraid of fire?
He doesn’t want to taste like a hot dog
- Who owns a Weimaraner dog with no ears?
Mike Tyson
- Two women are brainstorming which pet is intelligent.
The first woman who owns a German shepherd- My dog is brilliant. Every time he sees the postman he will simply wait for him and grab the letter.
The second woman who owns a Weimaraner- I know.
First woman- How?
The second woman- My pet Weimaraner told me
- Where do you really find a Weimaraner with no head?
The place where you left him
Dog Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Doughnut!
Hey, Doughnut who?
Doughnut plays with my dog, or he will bite you!
- Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Ken!
Hey, Ken who?
Ken I bring my dog inside?
- Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
No one!
Hey, No one who?
No one to open the door for me?
- Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Ron!
Hey, Ron who?
Ron for your life, a Rottweiler is after us!
- Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Flea!
Hey, Flea who?
Flea from that place else he will bite you!
Halloween Dog Jokes
- What did the Zombie and a dog discuss?
About go flesh!
- My dog barks frequently. What should my dog study?
Anything related to barkealogy
- Who writes a book about Halloween?
Definitely a ghostwriter
- What do you fondly call a cheesy Halloween party?
The muenster mash!
- What’s dog’s favorite Halloween treat?
I-Screammmmm!
Bulldog Jokes
- What’s a Bulldog’s most loved food?
Anything they could set their eyes on!
- What do you call a Bulldog with a fever?
A pretty hot dog
- What do you call a Bulldog’s wife?
Anything he is okay with
- What do you say when a Bulldog makes a mistake?
Bullshit!
- Imagine the feeling when if a Bulldog knew it’s successor would be a pom
That’s how your parents feel when they see your scorecard
- What do you get when you cross a husky and a bulldog?
Anything can happen. It’s better you don’t cross.
